It’s been a long time since I last posted something here. Our posts streams in when we started this relationship to now, it’s trickling and possibly to a halt. I’m not sure when I will ever post to this blog again or will if he remembers this blog.

Boyfriend is at the top of his career now. Seeing him at the top there, on one hand I’m happy on the other hand I’m beginning to be worried. All the dramas that I have watched have staunchly advice me that man when with money will attract the unnecessary attention. Sigh, due to this I know that I’ve caused strain in our relationship.

I’m not sure of the road ahead of us now. I sensed that things have changed. We are not as loving as we first used to, where the clouds were cotton candy, the sun were a loving touch telling me that he is right beside me and the air is his sense of presence. Now, the cotton candies are gone, the sun is harsh and air is stuffy. I feel a struggle in me to break away from it.

Last weekend we had a furious fight. We had planned for a weekend together and were looking forward to it very much. So imagine my disappointment when he told me that he prefers to spend his weekend away in a foreign country for his work. It was a flurry of angry activities going on between us; in the end we grew tired and didn’t go on anymore.

I’ve just ended my conversation with him on the phone. Things seem to be fine. He cooed me by assuring me that he dote me only. One part of me is cynical about it thinking that those are just honey coated words but another part of me hopes it’s not. Every time when this happens, I listen and pray hard that I will one day know that these are real, honest words from him.