Our new endeavour...

We are on Facebook and on Warbook, getting very much addicted to this little fantasy game.

This blog is getting sidelined because of our work, personal life, and of 'together time'. We have now sorta worked our way into a comfortable regiment of meeting up. Its slowly getting more manageable (This is my POV, she might think otherwise) I am sorry blog, promise to slowly cut some slack and be more frequent in our postings, our garden.

We were together during the deepavali holidays, we were together for quite a few weekends - It was very nice having my darling lou por by my side day and night, night and day. Love her when she laughs, nags, snores, sleeps, eats, dreams, gets pissed, gets cute, gets vain, gets agitated, everything about her is good to me *grinz* Muakz*.

Well anyways for the next few weeks, the schedule is also jam packed. This weekend we will be attending seperate weddings in different states hence we are not meeting up, the following weekend, we will be holding each other tight and the last and final weekend of november, I will be in Indonesia on some business trip - Some opportunities which I hope to materialize and make me a very rich man.

I am now in my mid-20's and am able to amass some half a million ringgit in cash. What do i do to grow that? it seems NOT ENOUGH, how much is enough? HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO MAKE to give my darling a comfortable life? to give myself a comfortable life? to be stable enough to become a pier for all those around me lending a helpful arm out if necessary?

When you think along those lines, you start thinking of what you will do with those money. Its just mind boggling how some fortunes are amassed and you start to wonder HOW DO I GO ABOUT doing that?

hahahaha I have side tracked, back to the main topic. WE are still very much happily together and will be for a long long long time to come. It is rough at times, but we will ride it out as long a we keep ourselves flexible & keep communication channels open.

*muakz* my darling.
Lou Gung...

Slight updates...

Sincere apologies for neglecting the blog, but work has been crazy lately. The pressure is slowly intensifying as time passes, is this all life is? - work, more work and more work? hahahaha sometimes i wonder.

My darling's birthday came and went, it was a 'extended' birthday celebration - not really the 'big bang birthday celebration' i was hoping for but I think it went well. Its her first birthday together with me as a couple, and i am loving every moment of it. *Smilez* I love you darling and hope you like the pressie.

It all started with my darling 'forcing' me to give her the present prematurely, then I was again forced to tell her the dinner plans, then abit more forcing here and there (Tired, hehe) and abit of walking in some newly launched shopping malls. As I have said, its abit more like a extended celebration (Everyday for the past weekend has been her day, and my oh my she made full use of that power - hahahaha) I still love you darling.

Updates on the relationship, we are still as lovey dovey as possible and no signs of any decrease in that. I really am happy and am in love with this relationship.

*muakz* Forward we go darling,
Lou Gong....

Long break...

It has been a while since WE last updated our blog, I sincerely apologize especially to my baby lou por zai. It has been a crazy time at work for me - bottomless pile of work to follow-up, back to back meetings, stupid clients, and above all that - the feeling of needing to justify my new position (new pay)

On top of office work, my own personal 'vested interest' is taking up the remainder of my time. Wish me luck that i cash out on it. It will be quite 'lucrative' if you know what i mean hehe.

Now back to the unblogged weeks.

Was in Indonesia doing some training, catching up with some people, developing my network to hopefully something fruitful. I left Indonesia one day before the quake, on september 11th. May god bless those people affected and bring them some relief. *sigh* We are so lucky yet we sometime's complain (anyways that another story for another day)

The weekend after that, i was in my babies hometown. Walked into the door with 2 boxes of mooncakes (nice to see not nice to eat) sorry darling. *muakz*. I had my favourite beef noodle's, and some 'thunder' rice (which doesn't taste too bad *smilez* - acquired taste hehe). Drove my baby to the bus station in which i really really did NOT WANT MY BABY TO LEAVE MY SIDE. *sigh* I a so in love with my darling...

The following weekend, am down in Singapore to help my darling shift into her new place. Didn't do much, just managed the boxes and checklisted everything. The movers did the bulk of the work very professionally i might add (minor hiccups with a lost screw BUT all was good). The room is bigger than her previous room and a much bigger window (Quite nice) BUT no aircond =( hahahahahaha.... anyways all is good and i feel very safe with my baby in this new place. Lets just say that area is well protected - thanks to a very hardy VVVIP.

An update on our relationship. It is developing nicely and we are still so very much in love. I am falling deeper and deeper for my girl day by day.

MY girls big birthday day is coming up, i am cracking my head to do many many nice things for her to make her happy. I just love seeing her smile and happy. *muakz* I really do not know what i have lined up yet darling but i really hope you will like whatever i do and plan.

Forever and ever yours,
Lou Kung Zai

The year so far...

This will be the ramblings of a confused and cluttered mind, I will try to make as much sense as possible in this posts. Many things are happening at the same time and I want to make sure I make the best of it.

The first half of the year 2007

Been a roller coaster ride for me, from a very dark, dim, dodgy start to the year. My life seemingly sucked into the 'dark side'. Financially I was driving myself into the red line, physically i was drinking and smoking, everything else was just a blur. If you ask me, do i regret? my answer will be a NO, I do not regret for the sheer reason that it is the past. I move forward and learn and hopefully become a 'better person' (evolution?)

Career wise, it was stagnating. Business wise was also non-existant. Things did not look good, and I was bordering on insanity trying to THINK MYSELF OUT of the rut i was in. Horrible time horrible, the alcohol, smoke, dark times seem to dull the senses enough for me to survive.

Family wise was alright, just because of the sheer fact that i was never home long enough for people to even notice my changes. All my activities are shrouded behind 'Work purposes'. I leave the house early in the morning, go home in the wee hours of the night. Many times not even showering to sleep as i was just too drunk or too tired or both.

Personally I was alone, too alone. Looking back - it was scary but still worth experiencing. I was down. but never have i experienced a double whammy of being down and continually being sucked into the 'dark side'

Second half of the year

I am glad to say things have taken a turn for the better, if i can plot it on a graph, it will look like a 'bull market' immediately after the depression of the century. Things started picking up after (I am not sure of the exact order) but there are a few key highlights of the year which I am thankful and glad that happened.

First things first, I am very much in love now. I think i found the person i want to spend my life with. (I am not saying this just because she co-owns this blog) but i really feel that WE can work something out. I think of her continuously and want the best for her. *muakz* darling lou por zai.

then I got a promotion and a much needed salary hike, putting me into the 6 figure yearly income bracket. This new fact kept me entertained for a good 5 minutes, after that I started to wonder HOW do i make more. hahahahahaah talk about contentment.

From there, the love of my life convinced me to quit my cigar smoking, else she will do something drastic. I also quite because the cigars made it horrendously dry for me. Anyway.. cigars are not off my hobby list.

Recently my 'vested interest' outside just got paid off, hopefully there is $$ behind the cheque i got. Wish me luck. my first 6 figure cheque and I guess I should be quite comfortable for the year. But again, the novelty of having 6 figures lasted about 10 minutes? Now i am wondering how do I make more and how much more is enough? I want my porsche and ferrari's in my LIFETIME.

Overall things are turning out to be good, need to keep the momentum and strive for bigger better things. It is in 'good times' that we should prepare for 'rainy days'. But how and what? I need to crack this nut soonest possible just to be safe.

Wish me luck, so far so good.

Love you darling lou por, please be my guide, support and chronicler of my life. I really need you to help me out in alot of the areas that will pop up.

Loving you lots,
Still a 25 year old boy trying to make the best of his life.

Something to blog about...

•So far away...

I cannot touch your hand,
I cannot feel your breath,
I cannot hold you close.

Yet so close...
I can feel you in my heart,
I can see you in my mind,
I can hear you in my ears.

You can be so far away...

But as long as I have your love...
As long as I have you...
You will always be close.

For,
As sure as the sun rises,
And the tides will change,
I will always love you,
An you will always be close to my heart.




I love you my darling lou por zai.
Lou Gong (in the office getting ready to leave)

My baby is doing me proud...

I love you lou por zai, I am glad that my baby is taking my workload in stride. My darling is being very understanding and very supportive of my current jam packed work load, abit of 'noise' here and there but overall its all good.

From new business pitches, to justification of my existence, to preparing for a Jakarta workshop, to trying to come up with a 'next steps' for my life, working out the budgets for my division, to maintaining a happy relationship is a very tedious job. I need the support and understanding that my darling lou por is giving me now.

She is wonderful!

I just wish that we were in the same city, this way she can sayang me everyday, everynight, all day, all night, all time, everytime... thinking about it brings a smile to my face. I am sooo sooo sooo smitten *muakz* love you darling!.

anyways now i gotta run off and go home, to continue slaving away in front of my laptop.

*muakz*
Lou Gong

Ups and downs...

Love you darling, it is as I expected that we will get into an arguement. The really funny thing about our arguements is that it GOES NO WHERE, we end up talking and talking and bickering until we forget our points - THERE IS NO POINT TO THE ARGUEMENT then it just becomes a tussle of very thick skin and 'hard necks' geez.

We are going to look back and really have a good laugh over this. I guess the best part of having an arguement is that the 'make up' sex is fanfuckingtastic hahahahaah. *wink wink*.

It has been a while since i updated the blog, work has been crazy. Back to back from pitches to budget meetings to trainings in Jakarta to my personal business 'making some head way'. I am really glad and happy that darling has been HIGHLY SUPPORTIVE and is taking this in stride.. GOOD GOOD. Keep it up my darling, this is really what I need from you and our relationship. Support and understanding.

Lately I have been 'stuck', now that I got a pay raise, promotion, business money seems to be flowing in, NOW WHAT? WHAT NEXT? 100 thousand dollars, 300 thousand dollars, how much is it going to stretch? How do i grow it to 3 million? 30 million? 300 million? I need 'something' - what is that 'something'?

It sometimes can get very frustrating just thinking about it. Should i be patient? should i be frustrated? what what? All this for a more comfortable life in the future, luxuries? Giving back to my parents, my family, showering my darling with life's luxuries, doing stuff back to the community.

I always thought that IF in the future I had a choice to do charity work, my focus would be on senior citizens. Everyone seems to be focussing on children children and the future, what about the past? the people that made us what we are today - they are getting short changed. If you have grandparents, I have a tried and tested method of giving them endless smiles and happiness. It is the very simple touch, a touch, a reassuring hold, a grip, a firm 'I am here' hold goes a long way - they do not need your money, they do not need your luxuries, they just need your time and your touch.

I regret not doing enough for my grandmother (Paternal, whose death anniversary is just a few days ago).

Anyways I have diverged from topic, hahahahaha I LOVE MY DARLING LOU POR ZAI so much.

Can't wait to be intertwined with her this weekend.

Lou gong zai.

Many things happening at once...

Its been a while since I blogged, I am sorry honey.

The fact is, I have been swamped with work. Lately things are happening around me that caused me to think alot more about life and the meaning of it. From the absolute amount of work on my table, to the happenings in the world. There are so many things I want to blog about but have no idea where to start.

First item, is the 'search' for my baby's room. She works in Singapore and lately has been getting headaches trying to find a place to move to, a room to be exact. It must be easily accessible to a MRT and safe. The rental cost in Singapore just shot up, its crazy. But anyways I just found out that the place we shortlisted is not available anymore, so we will have to find another place. *sigh* my darling the poor baby. *muakz* - I promise OUR future to be good, safe and fun.

Then there is my work, i recently got promoted with a pay raise. I guess now i am 'happier' with work an approx. 60% pay raise does wonders hahahaah. I will ask for more in the next 6 months. In the past month, it has been crazy with back to back new business pitches, justification of my role, and some fires to fight. Well wish me luck here, I need to show value to the company now.

In terms of the things that make me think more about my life?, well I will try to articulate this more in a later posts because now there is an internal struggle to really get a handle on whats happenings.

Through all this, I am happy and glad that my darling is by my side. She is slowly accepting the facts of my job and the demands it makes of my time - she is very understanding and highly supportive but sometimes she doesn't really understand how my work gives value to anyone hahahahahaah. She thinks i get paid for bullshit. but nevertheless, this is the platform that is going to help me make big bucks my darling and we will live off the fruits of my labour *fingers crossed* hahahaahah

So in love with my baby,
Lou Kung Zai @ Work missing my darling

Let down...

My business trip may not happen, I have once again let my baby down. A once well planned trip down to 'hometown' is now a total confusion on whether do i go Singapore or 'hometown'. All this plus work has been back to back recently. Schedule jam packed all the way till October, with pitch after pitch coming and going - new position and pay grade to justify.

my darling beloved lou por zai, WE are stronger than this. Right from the start I have always been saying - we need to be strong. There will be sacrifices that needs to be made in order for US to have a comfortable future and i guess this fact is slowly getting hard to ignore.

Well I love you and I want our relationship to last for all time, lets work this out and keep at this. Slight adversity won't hinder love for you.

*muakz*

Good morning my darling lou por zai.

Lovingly yours,
Lou Kung Zai (With pitch document not done yet, hahaha *tear*)

Step by step to....

Our footsteps in the sand, this is how i foresee my future from now on. :)

My heart is in her hands now

Will be missing my baby...

In another 1.5 hours my beloved lou por zai will be on a bus recreating the 202 mile gap that we have. It was a very wonderful 5 days that i spent with her. Absolute bliss - our relationship is developing at a nice pace, minor miscommunications, little patches of 'quiet time', but all was cool and calm - handled beautifully by both parties.

I love you so much lou por zai!, we need to sort everything out before it becomes a major issue.

I will now go to pay for your facial (Since i got u all tanned with our beach holiday).

Loving you forever and ever,
Dee dee aka Lou Kung Zai

Do not let go...

I am so in love, and in moments of weakness I will contradict what I say. I know I need to stable down here in before I ask you to come back - BUT I still ask you to come back quicker nevertheless. Its contradicting but its what I feel. I am sorry, those were moments of weakness.

Like I keep saying, we have to be strong for we have a long road ahead of us. We have so much more time to spend with each other, a little bit of hardship/distance shouldn't hold us back from all that. I am so in love.

I promise to follow your lead, PLEASE HOLD ON TO MY HAND AND NEVER LET ME GO.

Holding on tightly,
Little hubby

I am jealous...

My bee is having lunch with some 'guy' that has interest in her. I am actually okay because I trust her so much - BUT I can't but help feeling abit uneasy and 'pain' when I think of the situation. I love you so much my Lou Por Zai!

Love you lots,
Your Dee Dee!

Missing my Lou Por Zai!

I can't wait to be by my Lou Por Zai's side again. I look forward to next Wednesday when she will once again be in my arms. It has been a somewhat turbulent month for us, miscommunication, misunderstandings, bickering's, tears, laughter, heat, and some very painful 'quiet time'. I am glad to report that WE have come out unscathed and strong as ever.

There are a few things that led us down that dark path, one of the key reason is that WE miss each other too much. I miss my baby soo much. Every waking moment, every sleeping moment, every moment i miss my bee. My Lou Por Zai, my one and only keeper of my heart. I love you!

I really honestly am working and planning for a LONG FUTURE together bee. Please be patient with me.

So in love with you,
Lou Kong Zai

A future together...

Its been a while since our last posting, not that we are starting to ignore the blog. Its just that during the weekend we were too intertwined *grinz*. We were too busy staying 0 miles, 0 meters, 0 centimeters, 0 millimeters away from each other. It was a nice long weekend, but no matter how long it still doesn't help cuz at the end of the day we will go back to the 202 miles apart.

The topic that is currently floating in the air, sometimes good sometimes bad is about OUR FUTURE. Ever since the start of our relationship, I have the thinking that 'this time, this is it'. I really think Bee is the one for me for the long term to go the distance.

I know we are still a very new couple, but I really am ready, prepared and willing to do whatever it takes to be 'the one' for my bee bee. I am so so so so in love with my bee.

The weekend ended abruptly due to rain and a very last minute bus ride. I did not even get to hug and kiss my darling baby princess good-bye. I was alright when she got on the bus, I was alright when i got back into my car, I was alright when my car moved back into traffic, but when I saw my baby sitting in the bus with a little wave of her hand - I broke down, i felt as if my heart was wrenched out of its place, the tears started pouring and pouring, the effort of trying to regain composure made it even worst, I started to wail in the car ' I miss my baby so very much, i feel so empty and lost without her', then a message from my bee dealt the final blow - my heart was a million pieces being washed away by the river of tears, I AM NOTHING WITHOUT MY BEE. I am so sorry for making you go thru this Bee, I love you so much..

Monday and Tuesday was a flurry of activity on my end, endless nights of preparation for the next day. I am getting too old for this sleepless nights shit. But both the days ended with nice positive notes. Tonight i gotta catch up on me sleep, else definitely will end up in the zoo as the 3rd panda from China.

I think as time goes by, and our relationship matures and flowers. The topic of 'a future together' will require more of our time to think and to plan. It will be such an adventure, so beautiful. I love you so much bee *muakz*

I can't wait to see my bee for the weekend at her hometown. I love you bee.

I am so sorry to make you go thru any pain without me being there.
Dee loving Bee

My heart yearns for you...

Here i lie in bed tonight,
I type with just the laptop light. (Thanks to IBM)
It's you i'm missing and how close you are
when i roll over your not far.

But thats not the case at quarter to three,
when i turned over tonight it was only me.
It's disturbing to me to not know how you are,
i worry about you no matter how far.

You beside me i feel at ease and at rest,
this feeling unexplainable but it's the absolute best.
It hurts when your gone i feel pain when theres no you,
it's probably because of what we went through.

I cant wait to see you it's only been three days apart,
but if it was any longer than this the pain would be deep,
in this loving heart

Yours for now and forever
Bee's Dee..

Missing you from a distance...

Have you ever bothered to realize
how much you mean to me?
I care so totemo much for you inside
and miss you so deeply.

All the time I held you in my arms,
I had the whole world right there with me.
There you were, comforting me with
all of your charms (and wrinkled nose and giggles and you just being you).

Every little kiss from you, every little nag from you,
was like a dream come true.
This love that I have inside my heart,
it all belonged to you and belongs to you.

It's funny, all those little things
I never thought I'd miss,
Like all those conversations we had,
or the first time we kissed (I still remember it quite clearly, NOT PASSIONATE ENOUGH MY ASS hehe)

I guess that what I'm trying to say,
is I miss and love you more each passing day,
It hurts me not to see you,
or not to know if you're ok.

I want you to understand
that I loved you from the start.
And I want you to know,
no matter how many miles
we may be apart,
you'll always hold a special place
in my heart.

Little hubby...

Starting my 202 mile journey back.

Listening to the sound of 'not having bee beside me' & tearing in the process (Hope no one on the bus notice a big man such as myself crying away)

It all started a VERY BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY morning, woke up with Bee by my side (absolute bliss) the next hour or so is censored to keep this blogs rating of PG 13 *Grinz*. We took a short excursion out of the house, for breakfast & lunch and my much needed Egg dosage *wink wink*. Well not much good food in Singapore - I only enjoy the Japanese food in Singapore, only because they are so very clean here (Taste is alright). Everything took on a very sweet taste for this trip, with Bee by my side.

Went back to the room, started some packing then Bee started to cry. Seeing her sobbing, broke my heart a million pieces. I wanted to tear, wanted to cry so very badly because I feel exactly the same pain my bee is going thru. I can't cause if i start then who will stop us? I had to be the strong one this time. I gritted my teeth, stoned up my heart, FOCUSED on stopping my crying beee - I failed (*blush*). So there we were the sobbing duo, crying dee and bee. Ridiculously old couple crying because I am just going back to KL hahahahaahahahahaha we are going to look back at this and find it so funny bee. *muakz*

After what seemed to me like a blink of an eye I had to go, 40 minutes before my bus leaves without me. One more great big hug, a kiss and with a heavy heart i sped off down the lift and up an awaiting cab to rush for my bus ride back to KL. To be honest, only the 'shell' left the room - my heart and soul very much stayed back to accompany my bee (The only place I want to be right now / FROM NOW ON)

I am so sorry Bee. I am so very sorry.

I have another 35 minutes to get to my bus and my cab gets caught in a jam. I am starting to toy with the idea of staying in Singapore for another day just to accompany my bee bee. Seeing her sobbing, broke my heart a million pieces. I buzzed her and herd her sobbing voice telling me she followed me down and couldn't find me (I was already on the cab) - I am so sorry bee, I love you.

Got to my bus with 5 minutes to spare, settled in and started contemplating stepping off the bus to 'miss the bus'. Minutes deep into my thought, the bus crawled off - I am sorry bee, I love you so much.

There are so many things left to do, left to be said to my bee - so little time. I really want only the best for you bee, i only want to send smiles, happiness and laughter to you and through your life. I only want to see that wrinkled up nose when you laugh and giggle and *sigh*.... I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH BEE! see you asleep so peacefully made me feel so happy and lucky - NOW I have something important to protect *Grinz*

I dozed off after about 15 minutes, then went thru the customs like a zombie (deep in thought). I really want you to come back to my side, come back to KL and we will be a 0 mile close couple. Throughout the bus ride, many tots came and went but they all revolved around my life with Bee. I really do love you sooo much.

I am sorry Bee, soon it will be alright.

Little Hubby aka Bee's Dee

0 miles apart and so in love...

I am sneaking a short little posting into our blog when Bee isn't looking.

In a few hours, I will be back on a bus re-establishing the 202 miles distance apart BUT we had a funderful time across the weekend. Our relationship is blossoming into something much bigger and better than any of us could imagine and I am so much more in love with my Bee.

Its just so nice to have found that 'one person' you really love and you also feel the love being reciprocated. I really am so in love with you bee, and even with a distance between us - I KNOW that we will survive this and be together for the longest time.

*Muakz*

Already missing my bee..
Little hubby @ your place sneaking a posting *Hugz*

Can't wait...

I can't wait to be 0 miles from my Girlfriend, I really can't wait.

I really can't wait to...
be by her side,
hug her,
kiss her,
cuddle her,
snuggle up to her,
caress her,
touch her,
feel her,
hold her,
*ARGH*... so many things I want to do for her... I love you so much girlfriend.

I really can't wait for her
palm to be on my forehead,
hugs,
kisses,
smile,
wrinkled up nose when she smiles,
to kiss my forehead,
touch,
LOVE (most important of all).

I really can't wait,
Dee dee @ Office getting impatient...