now and forever?
I know that Dee has been feeling extremely uneasy over the weekend. Although he's been spending time with his family but I'm also aware that he has never stop thinking about me. From the amount of messages and phone calls I received, I knew it. To make matter worst, he didn't manage to sleep a lot yesterday night. Poor him...
Like what he has said, my ex was in town over the weekend for some personal things to attend. So he conveniently spend some extra time in town so that he can meet up with me and spend time with me. For this matter, Dee has been behaving like a “pouty pot”. Getting all green and jealous about the whole thing.
One of the things that I'm proud of is that he didn't get all overly upset about it. Instead he has been able to handle the situation in a cool manner. To ease his uneasiness, I've been calling him and SMS him to reassure his feelings. I've also canceled some of the appointments with my ex so that I can spend more time talking to Dee on the phone at home.
So before my ex left just now, he gave me a call from the airport. He cried. After many years of breaking up, he still has feelings for me and would very much like us to be together again. Even till today, he is still keeping a memento I gave him as a symbol of our relationship during the start of my, then, relationship with him. Feelings from the old memories stirred up my mind, then there is also the feeling of sympathetic that came along with it. I can feel that tears almost going to drop out from my eyes. BUT, I also clearly understand that all these are feelings of sympathetic. Nothing else.
Immediately after ending the call, I called Dee to talk to him about it. I know I have to talk to him about it. It's only fair that he knows what's going on because I love him and want to share all my thoughts and feelings. I'm already considering a future with him, so this is perhaps the best start. That is to share my feelings with him so that he can be part of my life.
After this weekend spent with my ex, although I feel sorry for him but i guess i have moved on with my life. On top of that, i have a better indication that Dee is perhaps the only person I want to be with now. The reason why i used the word perhaps is because I can't see the future ahead us that for sure I'm going to be with him. But at least for now, I know what I want.
To Dee: I love you, Dee. I want to have a future with you together. Now and forever, if that's possible. Will you give me a chance to do it with you while holding on to your hand?
Like what he has said, my ex was in town over the weekend for some personal things to attend. So he conveniently spend some extra time in town so that he can meet up with me and spend time with me. For this matter, Dee has been behaving like a “pouty pot”. Getting all green and jealous about the whole thing.
One of the things that I'm proud of is that he didn't get all overly upset about it. Instead he has been able to handle the situation in a cool manner. To ease his uneasiness, I've been calling him and SMS him to reassure his feelings. I've also canceled some of the appointments with my ex so that I can spend more time talking to Dee on the phone at home.
So before my ex left just now, he gave me a call from the airport. He cried. After many years of breaking up, he still has feelings for me and would very much like us to be together again. Even till today, he is still keeping a memento I gave him as a symbol of our relationship during the start of my, then, relationship with him. Feelings from the old memories stirred up my mind, then there is also the feeling of sympathetic that came along with it. I can feel that tears almost going to drop out from my eyes. BUT, I also clearly understand that all these are feelings of sympathetic. Nothing else.
Immediately after ending the call, I called Dee to talk to him about it. I know I have to talk to him about it. It's only fair that he knows what's going on because I love him and want to share all my thoughts and feelings. I'm already considering a future with him, so this is perhaps the best start. That is to share my feelings with him so that he can be part of my life.
After this weekend spent with my ex, although I feel sorry for him but i guess i have moved on with my life. On top of that, i have a better indication that Dee is perhaps the only person I want to be with now. The reason why i used the word perhaps is because I can't see the future ahead us that for sure I'm going to be with him. But at least for now, I know what I want.
To Dee: I love you, Dee. I want to have a future with you together. Now and forever, if that's possible. Will you give me a chance to do it with you while holding on to your hand?
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